Death

Death is a peaceful feeling.

You start shaking.

Your body cools down.

Everything you see turns white.

You feel your blood floating slowly in every part of your body.

You hear your heartbeat panic.

You hear every noise around you very clearly.

You get the feeling of release.

You just let go and feel free.

The worst feeling is to wake up after that peaceful happening. You wake up, still shaking like crazy, not seeing a thing because everything is still white, you´re covered in ice-cold sweat and feel the blood rushing and burning through your body like fire. You have no clue whether you should try harder for the release or should continue living with pain.

People

There are two types of people: The creators and the destroyers.
As a creator you create angels.
As a destroyer you  destroy these angels and have the power to create demons.


Once you´re a demon there´s no way out. 


Evil wins. MUHAHAHAHAHA.

Home

I can´t remember the last time I felt like I´m home. The last time I felt good at the place I´m living. 

"The place I´m living in", and nothing more. Just not a home. 

Normal kids are happy to be home after school but every time I come back here it feels like shit.

How does a home feel like? I don´t know.

Wondering whether I ever knew this feeling. 

As long as I remember myself I never felt well at where I´ve been . Ever.

Parents

Heya, 

so today everyone was like "hey, Kitty, make some warm sandwiches" and I didn´t even fucking mind since I´m on my holidays and have nothing else to do. (Not even sorry for starting off by cursing, I´m damn fucking mad, kay). Then the person who´s called "biological mother" requested some tea and I turned on the kettle. Do you guys know these Brita water filters? (look: http://images.ethicalsuperstore.com/images/80480%20-%20Marella%20CoolWater%20Filter%20Jug%20White.jpg ) so I boiled a little more water into the kettle because I thought there wasn´t enough for 2 cups. While that the sandwich-maker was still busy with my bro´s sandwiches. DURING the boiling of water the top part, the lid of the filter fell off and created a huge mess, water was all over the connector which connected the microwave, kettle and sandwich-maker. So yah, our whole electricity went down. I yelled through the whole fucking apartment for help because, HELLA, everyone knows what happens when electricity meets water!

Very long story shorter: everyone yelled at everyone first, then I found out the lid actually BROKE OFF, my parents said it´s my fault and said I did it on purpose just like I always do and everything I do turns out shit anyway and that I´m a disappointment, then all of the sudden it was my brothers fault as well even though NO ONE was at the kitchen at the time I´ve been there, then the discussion somehow got to paying for the apartment and all the fine things like that and my mum tried to beat me up. Held that hoe´s arms and she slapped me anyway. I bet she´ll complain about arm pain for the next days. Warned you, slut. Told you to NOT fucking touch me. I have strong hands and a little bonus called nails. If you´re in pain, good. Hope it hurts for an extra long time.

TO SUM IT UP A LITTLE BETTER: there´s no fucking sense of discussing with my parents because they don´t accept their failure and when they notice they´re very wrong they try to slap you.

A little part of the convo:
"Me: the lid fucking broke off and this could happen to you as well but it happened to me, so don´t blame me!

Dad: Your life is damn broken and that only can happen to idiots like you!!"

Hope you now know what I have to deal with every day.

I could cry because the way they treat me is unfair but I also could cry laughing about the stupidity going out from their side. 

It´s hilarious because these people are the ones who should raise me, I was raised by my granddad and right now I´m damn fucking happy that he´s dead and can´t see the shit going on here.

Thank you, granddad, thank you, grandma. I´m on the fair side of life.