No go.

"Remember you´ll hurt people around you by committing suicide. They won´t go a day without thinking of you and it will kill them with sadness." Just read one of those texts and asked myself whether it can get worse, more stupid and more senseless.
Excuse me, but:
REMEMBER THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE THE REASON I DON´T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE. THEY BULLY, THEY SAY THINGS WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY DO TO ME AND THEN IT´S ME WHO SHOULD CARE ABOUT HOW THEIR OWN STUPIDITY AND MISTAKES MAKE THEM FEEL BAD BECAUSE THEY KILLED ME?
I don´t see any sense in that. The only message I can read here is: "Be sorry for everyones mistakes because it´s all your fault."
Makes me feel sick. I imagine the person who wrote that actually "killed" someone and now doesn´t want to accept it´s his/her fault so he/she tells everyone it´s the suicide commiters mistake and there´s nothing wrong with ones self. 
It´s just fucking wrong and sad.

3:AM thoughts

When people ask me what I want in life I don´t know what to answer, to be honest, I don´t want anything anymore. 
I gave up on life age 13. 5 years passed. 
Do you think I can actually shake myself and say "Everything´s alright. Life´s good!" without knowing I´m lying to myself? No. I´d feel bad. 
I´d feel really shit lying to myself about a "good life" after all the suicide attempts and downs. 
I know it´s never been perfect. Never expected it to be. It´s never going to be what we want it to be. It´s what it is and there´s nothing to do about that.
I don´t want to go to college anymore. I don´t want to work.
I know I´ll never be able to have a career. Why do I have to work on it then?
I wake up depressed day after day for my whole life.
What is it all for? I´ll die young and lonely anyway.